Writing in a funeral condolence book can be tricky. You want to put a message that's truly special, but knowing exactly what to say can be difficult!

Here are some different types of messages that you can leave in a condolence book, including some examples:

Express your sympathy

You can't go wrong with a short message expressing your sympathy for the family of the deceased. This is a lovely way to show you care, and works best for the funeral of someone you didn't know very well, such as a friend's parent or a coworker.

• I am deeply sorry for your loss.
• My heart aches for your loss, and I want you to know that I am always here for you.
• Your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

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Compliment the service

Again if you don't know the deceased very well, then complimenting the service is another thoughtful message that you can leave in a funeral condolence book. Their family and friends are sure to be glad that you admired the service they planned.

• Your service for [name] was truly beautiful, and they would be so proud of you.
• I’m honoured to attend your beautiful memorial for [name]. I can tell how deeply they were loved.

Write a memory

If the deceased was a friend or family member of yours then you can create a more personalised message by writing about a cherished memory you shared together.

Remember not to write anything in the guest book that other friends or family members wouldn't want to read! The condolence book will likely be shared between many people, so should only contain memories that are appropriate.

• From when I met [name] on my first day at work, my life was never the same!
• My holidays with [name] were some of the best days of my life! I would love to relive the summer of '97 together again, when we went on a beautiful trip to Greece.
• I’ll never forget the time I spent with [name] every Christmas. It won't be the same without them.

Describe the deceased

Alternatively, you may wish to describe the person who has sadly passed away. This can give a special insight into their personality and how different people viewed them.

• [Name] was the most caring person I have ever met! I will truly miss them.
• I loved hearing [name's] jokes! They made me laugh every day.

Keep things short

Some people find that they get carried away writing a condolence message. As much as you may want to it's probably not a great idea to fill up a whole page of the condolence book! A message that's around 2 or 3 sentences long should be enough.

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Avoid clichés

You will also want to avoid using clichés in your message. Phrases such as 'they're with God now' or 'they're in a better place' seem less genuine and heartfelt. You may also want to avoid mentioning religion if you don't know that everyone in the family is religious.

Avoid phrases such as 'I know how it feels' as this can make it seem like you're making the death of their loved one all about you, even if you didn't mean to.

For the death of someone's partner, avoid using phrases such as 'you’ll find love again' as this can be seen as insensitive.

Signing off

There are many ways you can sign off a condolence message.

Here are a few of our favourites:

• With love,
• Sending you my love,
• My love is with you always,
• With caring thoughts,
• With sympathy,

Thanks for reading this blog! For more funeral advice, head over to our other blogs.